What Impresses You? A Mirror to Your Soul
If you really want to get to know yourself, ask this: What impresses you about other people? Or, if you’re brave enough: What makes you just a little envious? It’s a surprisingly sharp mirror
Your answer to the questions above often reveals far more about you than about whoever you’re observing.
The Allure of Status
We've all witnessed it, the way society transforms around wealth, fame, and titles. The expensive car that turns heads. The mansion that commands respect. The political office that opens doors. These symbols of status create an invisible force field, drawing admirers and generating envy in equal measure.
But here's the uncomfortable truth: if you find yourself impressed by these external markers, if you're drawn to associate with people solely because of what they possess, you may be looking in the wrong direction.
The very people who attract this superficial admiration are often the most miserly, ego-driven, and narcissistic. Yet they're treated like royalty because of their perceived status a perception that says more about the observers than the observed.
The Quiet Power of Character
The truly impressive people? They don’t need the spotlight.
They’re the ones who treat the barista and the CEO with equal respect. Who help without expecting credit. Who do the right thing quietly, when there’s no audience and no applause.
If you want to see someone’s true measure, watch how they treat the person they can’t benefit from.
Ask yourself:
• Are they kind when there’s nothing in it for them?
• Are they fair when no one’s keeping score?
• Do they stand up for what’s right, even when it costs them?
That’s where the gold is.
Divine Wisdom
The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) offered profound guidance on what a believer should truly envy:
"There is no envy except in two: a person whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it in the right way, and a person whom Allah has given wisdom (i.e. religious knowledge) and he gives his decisions accordingly and teaches it to the others." (Bukhari, Sahih)
This hadith redirects our envy toward those who use their resources, whether material or intellectual, for good.
The Two Types of Jealousy
Islam distinguishes between praiseworthy and blameworthy jealousy:
Praiseworthy Gheerah (Which Allah Loves):
• Protective concern with legitimate grounds
• Jealousy for Allah's sake—feeling protective of divine commands and prohibitions
• Being moved when sacred limits are transgressed
Blameworthy Gheerah (Which Allah Hates):
• Baseless suspicion without reasonable evidence
• Excessive control rooted in unfounded fears
• Tribal or group fanaticism that divides rather than unifies
Ancient Stoic Wisdom
The Stoic philosophers understood this principle deeply. Marcus Aurelius reminded himself that virtue, not wealth or fame, should be our measuring stick:
"It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, who is poor."
Instead of resenting others' success, Stoics advocated learning from it. When you encounter someone with admirable qualities, ask: "What can I do, within my control, to cultivate this virtue or skill in myself?"
Seneca warned against "painting the facade" of life just to appear grand. True respect, he taught, is earned by character, not show. Impressing others becomes meaningless when it comes at the cost of your moral compass.
Shifting the Question
The urge to impress others fades when you realize a fundamental truth: the only person you truly need to "impress" is yourself, through living virtuously.
When you shift your focus from what people have to who they are, you discover what's genuinely worth pursuing. Character over cash. Values over valuables. Integrity over image.
You start noticing different things. You stop chasing the shiny.
And you start admiring the substance.
So, I’ll ask again:
What impresses you today?
Because your answer might just reshape who you become tomorrow