The Comfort We Forgot
Why We Are So Sad in the Most Comfortable Age in History, and What Faith and Philosophy Tell Us to Do About It
The Paradox of Our Time
By almost every measurable standard, we are living in the most prosperous and comfortable age in human history. We have abundant food, climate-controlled homes, instant communication, and access to medical care that previous generations could only dream of. And yet, anxiety and depression are rising at alarming rates, especially in the developed world.
Why? If comfort is the answer, why are we suffering so much in the middle of so much of it?
Hardship Is Not a Malfunction
The first thing we have to recognize is that life is hardship. It always has been. It is a test that was never meant to be easy, and feeling sad or anxious from time to time is part of being human. Even the most beloved figures in scripture experienced such anguish that they wished for the end.
When Maryam (Mary, the mother of Jesus) went through the pains of childbirth alone, the Quran captures her despair in heartbreaking honesty:
“Then the pains of labour drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She cried, ‘Alas! I wish I had died before this, and was a thing long forgotten!’” (Quran, Surah Maryam, 19:23)
Prophet Yaqub (Jacob) lost his beloved son Yusuf and grieved so deeply that, as the Quran tells us, his eyes turned white from the sorrow he was holding inside (Quran 12:84). Yet his response to his other sons, when they questioned his endless grief, was a model of where to direct our pain:
“I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah, and I know from Allah that which you do not know.” (Quran, Surah Yusuf, 12:86)
The Prophets did not pretend to be unaffected. They wept. They grieved. They felt the full weight of human sorrow. The difference is what they did with it. They turned their pain toward Allah, treated their hardship as a test, and emerged from it closer to Him. The lesson is not that we should suppress our sadness. It is that we should redirect it.
The Quiet Battles We All Fight
Each of us is carrying something. Financial pressure. Marital strain. Health problems. Loneliness. A creeping sense that the future is closing in. None of this is unusual. It is the price of admission to being alive.
Worry, in moderation, can even be useful. It sharpens our attention and pushes us toward solutions. The danger is when worry takes the wheel. When it stops us from praying, from working, from being present with the people we love. When it makes us disobedient to Allah and disconnected from our purpose. That is the moment we need to pause and take stock.
Our bodies and our minds are an amanah, a trust given to us by Allah, meant to be used in His worship. And worship is not confined to the five daily prayers. It is the way we engage with the world. It is gratitude in the small moments. It is hope when hope is hardest. It is showing up for the people who depend on us, even on days when we want to disappear.
The Twin Distortions
There are two streams of poison flowing into our minds every day, and most of us are drinking from both without noticing.
The first is a constant flood of negative news. Most of it concerns events we cannot influence and that have no real impact on our daily lives. We are rarely better informed for having watched it. We are simply more anxious.
The second is the carefully curated, filtered, retouched highlight reel of social media. The friend posting the perfect family photo may be on the verge of divorce. The influencer flaunting wealth may be drowning in debt. The picture-perfect selfie often hides someone struggling with their self-worth. Comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s marketing campaign is a fight you cannot win.
The Stoic Pivot: Focus on What You Control
This is where ancient Stoic wisdom becomes startlingly practical. The Stoics taught a simple but transformative principle: divide everything into two categories. What is in your control, and what is not.
You cannot control whether bad things happen. You can control how you respond. You cannot control what others post or how they live. You can control whether you keep watching. You cannot control the outcome of a hardship. You can control whether you let it paralyze you or use it as fuel.
Stoicism is an inherently active philosophy. When sadness whispers that you should stay in bed, the Stoic response is to stand up. Not because you feel like it, but because your nature as a rational being requires movement. When emotion tells you to abandon your responsibilities, the Stoic move is to do your duty anyway, because duty provides a structure that emotions cannot tear down.
Importantly, the Stoics never asked us to be statues. Seneca, who wrote extensively on grief in his Letters from a Stoic, made room for tears in the life of a wise person:
“It is possible for tears to flow from the eyes of those who are quiet and at peace. They often flow without impairing the influence of the wise man, with such restraint that they show no want either of feeling or of self-respect.” (Seneca, Moral Letters to Lucilius, Letter 99)
The point was never to feel nothing. The point is that once the tears have fallen, you return to the driver’s seat of your own mind.
The Year of Sorrow
If we want a model of how to carry pain while continuing to act with purpose, we need look no further than the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
There is a period in his biography known as Am al-Huzn, the Year of Sorrow. In a single year, he lost his uncle Abu Talib, who had protected him from his enemies, and his beloved wife Khadijah, who had been his anchor since the very first revelation. The grief was immense. And yet, he kept going.
Shortly afterward came the journey to Ta’if, where he travelled hoping for a reception that never came. Instead, he was rejected, mocked, and pelted with stones until his feet bled. In the middle of that suffering, the Prophet did not curse those who hurt him. He prayed for them.
Reflecting on prophets who had endured similar trials, he himself once recounted:
“As if I saw the Prophet talking about one of the prophets whose nation had beaten him and caused him to bleed, while he was cleaning the blood off his face and saying, ‘O Allah! Forgive my nation, for they have no knowledge.’” (Sahih al-Bukhari 3477)
In his darkest hour, the Prophet did not retreat. He did not lash out. He gathered himself, focused on his mission, and held space in his heart for the people who had wounded him to one day be guided. That is the standard. Not invulnerability, but resilience anchored in mercy.
The Words That Carried Prophets
There is a phrase in the Islamic tradition that has carried believers through the most impossible moments:
Hasbunallah wa ni’mal wakeel
“Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs.”
Ibn Abbas narrated that this was the saying of Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham) when he was thrown into the fire. It was also said by the Prophet Muhammad and the early believers when they were warned that a great army was massing against them. Rather than terrifying them, the warning increased their faith, and they responded with these very words.
Notice what this phrase does. It is not denial. It does not pretend the fire is not real or the army is not coming. It simply relocates the center of gravity. Allah is sufficient. He will dispose of the matter. Our job is to do what is in front of us with sincerity and trust the rest to Him.
A Holistic Dua for the Anxious Heart
Among the most profound supplications of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is one he used to repeat regularly:
“O Allah! I seek refuge with You from worry and grief, from incapacity and laziness, from cowardice and miserliness, from being heavily in debt and from being overpowered by other men.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 6369)
Sit with this dua for a moment. It is not just a list of complaints. It is a map of how human suffering actually works.
Worry and grief are often born from a feeling of incapacity, the sense that we cannot do anything about our situation. Incapacity feeds laziness. Laziness is often a mask for cowardice or stinginess, the unwillingness to risk effort or resources. Cowardice grows when we are heavily in debt, because debt makes us answerable to others. And being controlled by others is the final stage of all this, where we have lost agency over our own lives.
Each item in the dua leads to the next. It is the most accurate diagnosis of the modern condition I have ever encountered, captured in a single line of supplication fourteen centuries ago.
From Paralysis to Action
Putting it all together, the path forward looks like this.
Accept that hardship is part of life, not a sign that something has gone uniquely wrong with you. Reframe difficulty as a test you have the chance to pass, not a punishment you are doomed to endure. Cut the inputs that fill you with comparison and dread. Stop scrolling through other people’s curated lives at midnight. Stop consuming news that gives you anxiety without giving you agency. Focus your attention on what you can control. Take the next small action, even when you do not feel like it.
Pour your grief out to Allah, the way Yaqub did, rather than to anyone who will listen. Hold onto Hasbunallah wa ni’mal wakeel when the situation feels too big for you. And when worry returns, as it will, recite the Prophet’s dua for refuge from sorrow, knowing that the very fact you are turning to it is already a step out of paralysis and into action.
We have a superpower on our side. We have a Creator who hears us, prophets who modelled how to suffer with grace, and a tradition of philosophy and faith that tells us, with one unified voice, that pain is not the end of the story. It is, often, the beginning of the chapter where we grow.
References
Quran, Surah Maryam (19:23)
Quran, Surah Yusuf (12:84 and 12:86)
Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 3477 (Kitab Ahadith al-Anbiya)
Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 4563 (Kitab al-Tafsir, on Quran 3:173)
Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6369 (Kitab al-Da’awat)
Seneca, Moral Letters to Lucilius (Epistulae Morales), Letter 99 (”On Consolation to the Bereaved”)